Drifting away, Swiftly.

"The more that you say, the less I know

Wherever you stray, I follow

I'm begging for you to take my hand

Wreck my plans, that's my man"

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Mentally, a clock is ticking.

If its a game that you are playing, don't. I am not a teenager anymore.

Its funny how we don't realise everyday that we are growing up but when we stop and look at pictures from even five years ago, a lot has changed and it still feels the same. I am starting this post with Taylor Swift's newly popular song 'willow' because as far as I can remember, I haven't lived through a crush whom I haven't infatuated to be a beautiful man from a Taylor Swift song. But strangely, even though I am totally catching the vibe of her new album, I don't want to do that. That is easy to do and harder to overcome. Its easy to believe that there is someone out there who will rescue you from the self-inflicted torture of loneliness and lack of companionship. It is harder to be that person for yourself or someone else. The more I think about this, the more I feel whether what I want - 'pancakes for breakfast' or 'interest in life and personality' or 'matching musical tastes' etc. - am I prepared to be that person for someone else? Am I even prepared to give more? Not yet. Commitment is scary because of this reason. Am I ready to lose a part of me, irrespective of who I am and whether I understand that completely, for another person to make space in my life?

So no, not begging you to take my hand and wreck my plans. Not today, my man.